As the sun sets on its destined position and as the stars
peek through the night sky, here I am still stuck in the middle of
nowhere…hidden behind the shadows of everyone – an outcast. Is this really my
destiny? To be forever afraid and lonely? To always be seen as the trash
without any worth at all? To be forgotten and cocooned by shame? Well, those
tough and unbearable elementary days still haunt my inmost being until the time
I opened the door to my high school days. I remember hiding from my classmates’
eyes because they would just tear me apart by their harsh and cruel words. Tears
unendingly rolled in my cheek the moment they ruined my precious shoes given by
my loving parents. When I had a little courage to speak, they would just laugh
at my ideas. “You can’t do that! You’re weak! You’re poor, you can’t afford
that!” And these voices mock me till I lay hopelessly flat on the ground. Yes,
I admit, I experienced almost all the bullies in my elementary days.
Despite all that, my parents never lack their
guidance. They always tell me that no matter how hurtful a situation may be, I
must stand firm in faith and all the more draw near to Him, there and then will
I find rest and peace…in the loving arms of Jesus Christ.
Indeed
I gained strength, peace and a new hope. Two months have passed and my high
school journey was about to start. I made a promise to myself that I’ll do my
very best with excellence, all for God’s glory and to prove that poverty can
never ever stop me.
As I stood in front of the school’s gate,
with all sincerity, I whispered a prayer; “Lord, I’ll hold on to what you said
in Job 8:7- “Though your beginning was insignificant yet your future will
increase greatly.”
“Things must have been in favor of me this
time!”, I exclaimed. Everything went well. My dad is healthy, my mom is good,
and my family is okay but a sudden change happened, a testing of our faith and
determination took place. It was in year 2013 when my dad continuously experienced
difficulty in breathing.
Until 2014, he was diagnosed of having a lung
cancer stage four. I saw my mom crying and yearning for help - emotionally,
mentally and financially. It was our first grading periodic exam when my dad
underwent his first chemotherapy. It’s
hard to see my jolly and bubbly dad lying on bed having so many injected drugs
and tubes. My mind was on my test paper but my heart kept on shouting “Dad, how
are you?”
I asked mom about the result of the checkup.
“Mom, dad’s okay right? He’ll live.” The teary eyes of my mom looked at me
without saying a word. Days past I got so confused. “Why? I know there’s
something wrong.” Until I found out that my dad only has a maximum of 6 months
to a year left to be with us.
My heart wanted to explode. “No, that’s not
true. My dad will hang all my medals on my neck; he’s going to be with me in
the marching day.”
I studied the hardest in ways you couldn’t
imagine believing that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I
won’t mind any of these difficulties because actually these trials are the ones
fueling my dreams for my family. That one day we will all be living a care free
life. I won’t get tired of walking from our house to school in order to attend
my classes. I’ll roam all known towns and cities to ask for sponsors and
solicitations to be able for me to join competitions. I even got the courage to
collect all the papers and plastic bottles I see to sell in the junk shop. I
remember it was our Church anniversary and we (me and my sister) only have 10
pesos in our pocket then suddenly 2 sacks of plastic bottles miraculously came
from nowhere. All the sufferings I am experiencing now are so worth it … my
family’s smiles, their laughers, their cheers “Go! Go! Fight lang ng fight
anak!” are really priceless.
Life of a high school student is really full
of struggles and trials. It has lots of storms. I encountered fear, pessimists,
poverty, and contempt of society but none of them shifted me away to my
destined place.
“For my God is working behind the scene. . .”
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